“Two people taking responsibility for the life they’re building together.”
She nodded.
“Does that require equal income?”
“No.”
“Equal spending?”
“Not necessarily.”
“Then what does it require?”
I looked at Derek.
“Respect. Honesty. Shared decisions. And the understanding that neither person’s work is automatically less valuable.”
Derek lowered his eyes.
For weeks, we examined patterns that had developed over seven years.
His resentment.
My habit of paying for things rather than confronting problems.
His mother’s influence.
Our failure to communicate about expectations.
I learned something uncomfortable about myself.
I’d sometimes used financial generosity to avoid difficult conversations.
If Derek complained, I paid.
If Patricia demanded something, I paid.
If there was tension, I tried to remove the source by spending more money.
I’d believed that was kindness.
Sometimes it was.
Other times, it was avoidance.
And over the years, my unwillingness to set boundaries had helped create an unhealthy arrangement.