His eyes filled.
“I know that now.”
I took a breath.
“I’ll consider counseling. But I need you to understand something.”
He looked up.
“What’s that?”
“I won’t return to the old arrangement simply because you’re sorry.”
He nodded.
“I understand.”
“And I won’t agree to a marriage where love is measured by how much money one person can take from the other.”
He reached for my hand.
I let him hold it briefly.
Then I withdrew.
“I need time.”
For once, he didn’t argue.
We began counseling the following month.
Our counselor, Dr. Melissa Grant, was direct but compassionate.
During the first session, she asked Derek what he believed being a husband meant.
He gave a familiar answer.
“Providing. Protecting. Leading.”
Then she asked what those words looked like in our actual marriage.
He struggled.
She turned toward me.
“What does partnership mean to you, Lauren?”
I thought carefully.