PAGE 2 — WHEN EXPLAINING YOURSELF MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE
The officer approached Marcus carefully.
“Sir, step away from the vehicle.”
Marcus immediately stepped backward.
Then he remembered the elderly woman.
“But I’m helping her!”
The woman nodded.
“Yes, he’s helping me.”
Unfortunately, she was nervous.
And when people are nervous, they sometimes say exactly the wrong thing.
The officer asked, “What were you doing with that wire?”
Marcus opened his mouth.
Then stopped.
He looked at the wire.
He looked at the officer.
“I was… trying to get inside.”
Silence.
The officer raised an eyebrow.
Marcus immediately realized what he had just said.
“No! Not like that!”
The elderly woman tried to help.
“He was trying to break into my car.”
Marcus stared at her.
“WHY WOULD YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT?”
“I mean,” she continued, “he was trying to get the door open.”
The second officer started writing something down.
Marcus became increasingly desperate.
“I’m not stealing anything!”
The first officer looked at him.
“Then why are you holding a wire?”
Marcus pointed toward the trash can.
“I found it.”
The officer looked confused.
“You found it?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know!”
Another neighbor suddenly appeared.
“I saw him looking inside the car!”
Marcus turned around.
“You saw me looking inside because I was trying to find the keys!”
The neighbor crossed his arms.
“That’s exactly what a car thief would say.”
Marcus stared at him.
“Do car thieves usually stand around arguing with six neighbors?”
Nobody answered.
Then Marcus made the situation even worse.
He reached into his pocket.
The police immediately became alert.
“Slowly.”
Marcus froze.
“I just want to show you something.”
He pulled out his phone.
The officer sighed.
Marcus opened his photo gallery.
“I took a picture of the car.”
The officer looked at the screen.
“Why?”
Marcus thought for a moment.
“I honestly don’t know anymore.”
At that point, even the elderly woman started looking suspiciously at him.
Marcus couldn’t believe it.
Five minutes ago, he was a helpful citizen.
Now he looked like the world’s least competent criminal.
Then suddenly, the woman screamed.
“My keys!”
Everyone jumped.
She reached into her handbag.
And pulled them out.
The entire street went silent.
Marcus slowly turned toward her.
“You had them the whole time?”
The woman smiled.
“I suppose I did.”
Marcus closed his eyes.
The police officers looked at each other.
And somewhere behind the crowd, Mrs. Johnson whispered:
“I knew something was strange about him.”
Marcus heard her.
He decided that was enough.
“I’M GOING HOME.”
But unfortunately…
He wasn’t going home yet.
