PAGE 1 — THE WORST FIVE MINUTES OF HIS LIFE

Nobody in the neighborhood had ever considered Marcus a dangerous man.

In fact, Marcus was so harmless that the most serious crime anyone had ever accused him of committing was eating the last slice of pizza at a family gathering.

And even that had been an accident.

But on a Tuesday morning, Marcus was about to become the most suspicious man in the entire neighborhood.

It started when he saw an elderly woman standing outside a parked car, looking extremely confused.

She was holding a small black bag.

Marcus looked around.

Nobody else was helping her.

So, naturally, Marcus decided to help.

That was his first mistake.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” he asked.

The woman looked at him.

Then she looked at the bag.

Then she looked back at him.

“I can’t remember where I put my keys.”

Marcus smiled.

“No problem. I’ll help you find them.”

Unfortunately, there was one tiny problem.

The woman suddenly remembered something.

“The keys are inside the car.”

Marcus stared at the locked car.

“So… we have a situation.”

The woman nodded.

Marcus looked around again.

Then he noticed a long piece of wire lying near a trash can.

He picked it up.

That was his second mistake.

Because at exactly that moment, Mrs. Johnson from across the street looked through her window.

She saw Marcus standing beside a locked car.

She saw an elderly woman looking nervous.

And she saw Marcus holding a piece of wire.

Her eyes widened.

“Oh my goodness.”

Mrs. Johnson immediately called her daughter.

“Something terrible is happening!”

Within thirty seconds, three neighbors were watching from their windows.

Within two minutes, somebody had called the police.

And Marcus?

Marcus was still trying to figure out how to unlock the car.

He had absolutely no idea that half the neighborhood had already decided he was a professional car thief.

And then he heard sirens.

Marcus slowly looked up.

“Oh, come on.”

The police car stopped.

Two officers stepped out.

Marcus raised both hands.

“I can explain.”

One officer looked at the wire.

Then at the car.

Then at Marcus.

“Can you?”

Marcus swallowed.

“Actually… now that you mention it, this looks much worse than I expected.”

And that was the exact moment his terrible day officially began.