Nobody said anything.I think that was the moment it finally hit him.Not a single person there agreed with him.He looked humiliated.First, his face went red.Then his jaw tightened.
Then he looked down at his cart like he’d suddenly become fascinated by canned soup.Maria said nothing.Neither did I.Ronald grabbed his cart.As he walked away, he muttered, “Unbelievable.”The older woman called after him, “Have a nice day, Ronald.”
A few people laughed.I didn’t.The second he disappeared around the aisle, all the strength drained out of my body.My hands started shaking.Maria turned toward me.“Hey.”“I’m fine.”She looked down at my hands.
“No, you’re not.”“I’m just embarrassed.”“Christy.”“I’m okay.”“You’re shaking.”That was when I started crying.
Maria kept wiping my face.“This is ridiculous.”“No.”“I got yelled at by some old man. People get yelled at every day.”Maria leaned forward.“When did you last sleep for more than a few hours?”
I thought about it.
“I don’t know.”Her expression softened.“I’m tired.”“I know.”My voice cracked.“I’m really tired.”
That was the first time I’d said it out loud.
I was exhausted.I loved Nora more than anything I’d ever loved, but for six weeks, every hour of my life had belonged to somebody else.Feeding, pumping, washing bottles, changing diapers, and rocking.Checking whether she was breathing.Googling things at two in the morning.Waking up even when Dan had her because my body heard every sound.
