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I picked up my phone and texted Diane.
Mystery solved. I know why my electric bill doubled. And I have a plan.
My phone rang less than ten seconds later.
Diane.
I smiled when I saw her name on the screen but didn’t answer.
Instead, I texted:
I’ll tell you tomorrow. Love you.
When I got back into bed, I was almost smiling.
I didn’t know how Monica would respond.
But I knew her well enough to understand that she wasn’t going to stop just because I had asked her once.
The next morning, I woke up with a sense of clarity I hadn’t experienced in years.
I made coffee.
Then I crossed the lawn in broad daylight and headed straight to Monica’s flower bed.
There was my garden gnome.
Still covered in the blue paint she had put on him.
The chipped nose was still visible, and beneath the blue, I could see traces of his original red hat.
I picked him up and carried him back home.
Nobody stopped me.
Monica’s Tesla was gone.
Probably out running errands using electricity I had paid for.
I placed the gnome beside my garage outlet.
Then I set things up so I would know if Monica came onto my property again.
The gnome looked completely innocent sitting there.
That was exactly what I wanted.
