Instead, I felt tired.
Wonderfully, peacefully tired.
No lunches to pack.
No laundry waiting.
No one asking what was for dinner.
At ten fifteen, I made tea and opened my laptop.
There was an email from Daniel.
The subject line read:
YOU’RE NOT ANSWERING.
My heart jumped.
I opened it.
Mom,
We’ve called several times. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you’re probably angry, but please don’t turn this into something bigger than it is.
The kids are having a great time.
We’ll talk when we get back.
Love,
Daniel
I stared at the second paragraph.
Please don’t turn this into something bigger than it is.
For years, I had used almost the same sentence on myself.
Don’t make trouble.
Don’t take it personally.
They’re busy.
Families make compromises.
I closed the laptop.
I did not reply.
The next morning, I woke at six out of habit.
My body waited for footsteps overhead.
There were none.
I waited for the sound of a bedroom door opening.
Nothing.
Then I remembered.
I was alone.
And for the first time in decades, I could choose what happened next.
I walked to a café three blocks away.
