Missing someone after choosing time with them felt very different from resenting time you never chose.
One Wednesday, Emily asked a question while painting a wooden birdhouse.
“Grandma?”
“Yes?”
“Are you still mad about Hawaii?”
Children rarely approach difficult subjects with warning.
I put down my paintbrush.
“I was hurt about Hawaii.”
“That’s what Mom said.”
“What else did she say?”
“That grown-ups made a bad decision.”
I smiled slightly.
“That sounds accurate.”
“Do you forgive them?”
I looked at my granddaughter.
Forgiveness.
Adults make the word complicated.
We imagine it as a door that is either open or shut.
But mine had been more like sunrise.
Slow.
Uneven.
Light reaching one corner before another.
“Yes,” I said.
“Completely?”
I laughed.
“Where did you learn to ask questions like that?”
“Mom.”
“That also sounds accurate.”
I considered my answer.
“I forgive them. But forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened.”
