I miss us.
I miss the way you used to reach for me in your sleep. I miss laughing over stupid things. I miss believing that sadness was something we would survive together.
I know you are hurting too. I know you lost them too. I need you to know I never blamed you for grieving differently. I only blamed the silence.
There’s something else.
When the doctor called with the first test results, he said some hormone levels were unusual. He said it may be related to the tumor or the miscarriage, and he needs to run more tests. I don’t understand all of it yet. Part of me is afraid to hope for anything. Part of me is afraid not to.
If this is bad, I don’t want you to stay because you feel trapped. But I also don’t want to disappear from your life because we were both too wounded to speak.
So I’m asking one thing.
Come with me to the appointment next Thursday.
Not as a perfect husband.
Not as someone who knows what to say.
Just as you.
Please.
Sophie
By the time I finished reading, I was crying so hard I could barely see the page.
