My trauma started at age 7. When my mother willingly, gave me to her man. Every one she had, touched me.
I’m now 36 years old, and she still denies everything… I am a liar she says. “Find a church home, and go to God.” My family trailing behind her words…. “She was a great mom, I saw it.” That was from outside the house. At 7 years old, I learned oral s3x, anal sex, and I learned how to have sexual conversation. Everyday after elementary school, I was a woman. I told my mom I was being sexually abused. “What goes on in this house, stays in this house,” was her response and “Get off the school bus, and go straight to the house.” To him… because she was never there. Being sexually assaulted everyday, took a toll and had me insecure. I felt everything going on inside, was showing on the outside. “He pays for your nails and hair,” my mom’s excuse when I brought it back up, in middle school.
Grooming… he had groomed me to what he wanted… She said it was a “father that cared.” A lot of nights, my mom was in the next room. He would crawl into my room so much, that I started thinking ghost were coming from under my bed. I faked sleep but it didn’t matter, he put himself between my legs, released himself, and left me laying fake sleep in it. EVERY NIGHT. My aunt says “Why don’t you want to be around your father?” I stay quiet… she follows with “I don’t know why my brothers are like that, and touch kids.” Silence. Everyone knows who this man is, but no one took me away. All his sins covered up… by my family… the one he came into. I was given to him. Everyone made a choice…. speaking up now, is mine.
My trauma started at age 7. When my mother willingly, gave me to her man. Every one she had, touched me.
