PAGE 2 — “WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?”

When my son was fourteen, people noticed everything about him.

Some relatives were polite.

Others weren’t.

At family gatherings, I started hearing little comments.

“Are you letting him dress like that outside?”

“Teenagers are so confused these days.”

“He’ll grow out of it.”

And sometimes the comments were even crueler.

I hated those conversations.

But I also struggled with them.

Not because I was ashamed of my son.

Because I was afraid.

I was afraid of what other people would do to him.

Afraid he’d be bullied.

Afraid someone would hurt him.

Afraid life would be harder because he refused to fit neatly into the box people had prepared for him.

One evening, his father came into the kitchen while I was making dinner.

“We need to talk to him,” he said.

“About what?”

“You know what.”

I put the knife down.

“He’s fourteen.”

“Exactly.”

I looked at him.

“What do you want us to tell him?”

His answer came quickly.

“That he can’t go through life like this.”

I felt something inside me tighten.

“Or maybe,” I said, “we tell him he doesn’t have to become someone else just because other people are uncomfortable.”

My husband didn’t answer.

That night, I went upstairs.

My son’s bedroom door was slightly open.

He was sitting on the floor with his back against the bed.

His clothes were scattered around him.

When he saw me, he immediately wiped his eyes.

“You’ve been crying.”

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

He looked away.

Then he finally said:

“I heard Dad.”

I sat beside him.

“What did you hear?”

“That he thinks I’m embarrassing.”

I pulled him into my arms.

“He doesn’t think you’re embarrassing.”

“He does.”

There was a long silence.

Then he whispered:

“Mom, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be.”

I held him tighter.

“You don’t have to know yet.”

He looked at me.

“And if I never figure it out?”

I smiled through my tears.

“Then we’ll figure out life one day at a time.”

At the time, I thought that conversation was the beginning of something.

I didn’t know it was actually the beginning of the hardest ten years of my life.