Stephanie said nothing.
“I was also allowed to need your help without giving away my place.”
“Then tell me.”
She covered her face.
“I love her.”
“I know you love Bev.”
“Then please don’t cut me out.”
“I’m not deciding forever tonight.”
“I know you love Bev.”
“But tonight isn’t about what you need.”
Stephanie followed my eyes.
“Can I talk to her?”
I asked Bev, “Do you want to?”
She leaned against me.
“Not tonight.”
“Do you want to?”
I nodded.
“Then not tonight.”
For years, I’d confused gratitude with obligation.
That night, I finally understood I could love my sister and still say no.
***
The next Friday was quiet. I asked for a sick day at work.
Bev and I ate grilled cheese at the counter.
“Then not tonight.”
Halfway through, she said, “I miss her. Is that bad?”
“No.”
She picked at the crust.
“Can you miss someone and still not want them here?”
“Yeah, baby. You can.”
“I miss her. Is that bad?”
***
A few weeks became a few months.
Stephanie apologized more than once.
I stopped listening to the words after a while.
I watched what she did.
She told Terry the truth.
She stopped calling every Friday.
