I confused the intensity of the way he pursued me with the depth of the love he felt for me.
After we got married, that attention slowly disappeared.
At first, he wasn’t openly unkind.
He was simply unavailable.
Work kept him late.
Meetings constantly came up.
His career became the explanation for everything.
Whenever I complained, he grew irritated.
So eventually, I stopped complaining.
It was easier that way.
I learned which subjects to avoid.
I learned how to recognize when he was in a bad mood.
I learned how to keep myself agreeable.
Quiet.
Easy.
Low-maintenance.
I convinced myself that was what being a supportive wife meant.
Then Sophie was born.
And the imbalance became impossible for me to overlook.
Elon almost never got up during the night.
He avoided changing diapers whenever possible.
He hardly ever watched Sophie long enough for me to nap, shower, or simply have ten minutes alone.
His late meetings became even more common.
I was exhausted.
Not normally tired.
The kind of exhaustion that slowly changes how your mind works.
Every day, I cared for a newborn while the person who was supposed to be my partner pulled farther away.
