I stared at him.
“Disappointed?”
Grant nodded.
“I know I’ve made mistakes.”
He took a breath.
“A lot of them.”
I almost smiled despite myself.
“That would be an understatement.”
A few of the others laughed nervously.
But Grant didn’t.
He was still looking at me.
“You used to tell me I could be anything if I’d stop acting like I didn’t care.”
My throat burned.
“I told you that because I believed it.”
“I know.”
He swallowed.
“And I wanted to prove you right.”
He took another step toward me.
“I wanted you to be proud of me.”
The words hit me harder than I expected.
I looked at the badge again.
It caught the light.
Real.
Solid.
A symbol of everything he had worked for without telling me.
My anger was still there.
But it began to crack.
“You did this.”
Grant nodded.
“Yeah.”
“You scared me half to death.”
“I know.”
His lip trembled.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
I looked around the room.
Five children.
A birthday cake.
Balloons.
A police officer who had apparently been part of the surprise.
And my sixth child standing in front of me, waiting to see whether his mother could forgive him.
Then something else occurred to me.
“You kept this from me because you were afraid I wouldn’t be proud?”
Grant nodded.
I shook my head.
“You have always been the one I worried about the most.”
He looked down.
“I know.”
“That doesn’t mean I loved you less.”
“I know.”
“It means I loved you so much that I was terrified something would happen to you.”
His eyes filled with tears.
“I know that now.”
I finally reached out.
My fingers touched the badge on his chest.
Grant closed his eyes for a second.
Then I pulled him into a hug.
He hugged me back tightly.
For a few seconds, neither of us said anything.
Then I whispered into his shoulder:
“You scared ten years off my life tonight.”
He laughed through his tears.
“I know.”
I pulled away and looked at him.
“But…”
He waited.
“I am proud of you.”
His face crumpled.
He hugged me again.
Behind us, someone started clapping.
Then another person.
Soon the entire room was applauding.
And for the first time that night, the silence was gone.
