Every time my brother-in-law drove me home, I would black out and wake up sore. My husband just laughed and said I was out of shape. After the fourth trip, I hid a voice recorder in my purse — and that night I heard a phone call that made me realize the blackouts had never been accidents.

Open the envelope. At the table, with a pen, in front of them.

If the person you are married to is who you think they are, it will cost you about four minutes.

Four minutes and a slightly odd feeling, and then you will put the kettle on and that will be the end of it.

And if they are not —

then four minutes at a kitchen table with a pen in your hand is the cheapest this is ever going to get.

It will never be that cheap again.