“No.”
She shook her head.
“There’s already one family willing to take one of the babies.”
“One?”
“They said they aren’t prepared for twins.”
The parking lot seemed to disappear around me.
“You mean they’re going to separate them?”
“That may happen.”
Something inside me broke.
I had imagined those two babies together for months.
Two cribs.
Two blankets.
Two little heads sleeping side by side.
And now, because I had been terrified for less than an hour, strangers might divide their entire lives.
“Take me back.”
The nurse nodded immediately.
We ran.
By the time I reached the maternity floor, I was crying so hard I could barely breathe.
Brian was standing outside the room.
He looked relieved when he saw me.
“Thank God.”
I slapped him.
The sound echoed down the hallway.
His face froze.
“You knew.”
Brian’s eyes changed.
That tiny hesitation told me everything.
“You knew,” I repeated.
“I was trying to protect you.”
“Protect me?”
My voice shook.
“You let me walk into that delivery room believing everything was fine!”
“I didn’t know for certain.”
“You knew there was a possibility!”
He lowered his voice.
“You were already anxious. You couldn’t sleep. You were scared about becoming a mother. I thought if I told you—”
“So you made the decision for me?”
“I was afraid you might make a decision you’d regret.”
I laughed bitterly through my tears.
“Look what I just did.”
Brian went silent.
Then I pushed past him.
Inside the nursery, my twins were lying beside each other.
They were tiny.
So unbelievably tiny.
One was sleeping.
The other was awake, moving her hand slowly beneath the blanket.
I walked closer.
For the first time since giving birth, I really looked at them.
Not at the diagnosis.
Not at the future I was terrified of.
At them.
My daughters.
Baby A had a little crease between her eyebrows.
Baby B had the roundest cheeks I had ever seen.
As I leaned over the crib, one tiny hand moved toward the other.
Her fingers found her sister’s hand.
And closed around it.
I covered my mouth.
The nurse beside me whispered, “They’ve been doing that since they were brought in here.”
Something inside me collapsed.
All the fear, shame, anger, and confusion poured out at once.
“I left them.”
