We never took that trip.
Eight years ago, Thomas died after being hospitalized with serious heart problems. His death left a silence in our home that I could not bear.
At first, I kept myself busy because I thought it would help me grieve. Then my children began having children of their own, and looking after them gave me something to do.
Before I realized what was happening, years had passed.
I had become very overweight, weighing approximately 330 pounds. My knees hurt when I climbed stairs, and I often felt tired after walking even a short distance. I had also grown uncomfortable with my appearance.
I stopped buying clothes that I liked because I thought they were too youthful for me.
I stopped going to the beach because I could not imagine wearing a swimsuit in public.
I stopped making plans because I assumed that at my age, with my body and my responsibilities, there was little point in trying anything new.
